Brain Dump

Sep 25

worldwar2chainz:

I Was Planning on Doing My Homework on Friday But I Waited Until Sunday and Now I’m Really Stressed Out and Overwhelmed But I Still Haven’t Learned My Lesson, a thrilling autobiography

Aug 14
Hayley Williams is a flapper now. 😩

Hayley Williams is a flapper now. 😩

Aug 10
Aug 09

antimnemonic:

fulllblownrose:

It’s too hot *opens window* in comes 20 flys, 8 spiders, 17 daddy long legs, 50 moths, 3 dragons and 12 Jehovah’s witnesses.

and a partridge in a pear tree

Aug 09
ahsadler:

kabutopz:

So last night I came across this table with 3 girls. They said they were out celebrating. When I asked what they were celebrating, one girl replied “my new hair color I’m now blonde”. She wasn’t blonde, her hair was golden brown. Anyway, so she orders a blue cheese bacon burger and wanted to add extra cheddar cheese. When her burger came out, there was no blue cheese. So being my job, I brought it back to the kitchen and brought out a new burger with blue cheese. After about 10 mins or so, she tells me she hates the blue cheese and wants it off. Of course I take the burger back and make her a new burger for the second time. Then seeing she eats half the burger and assuming shes done since she put trash on her plate, she complains she hated the burger all together. Then asks for a sundae with sparklers and candles since they wanted to make this a big celebration. After I was done serving them, correctly doing my job and being as helpful and has nice as I can, I drop off the check. After they leave, this is what I find. I understand she was upset about her burger, but I worked my ass off for this table and did so much for them. I even got them stuff discounted on the bill. She put “NAH SON” for tip and signed it “smooche da puss” instead of her signature. I can’t believe how disrespectful some people are now a days.

OK, dipshits, listen up: In the US, servers make all of $2 an hour, and the rest is from tips. They are taxed at the expectation of a 15% tip (which accounts for the hourly wage), and in most restaurants they have to give a certain percentage (say, 2.5%) to the busser, the host, and maybe the dishwasher. They have to pay tax and tip out even if the customer leaves no tip. When you leave less than 10%, the server worked your table for free. When you leave nothing at all, the server PAID to work your table. On this bill, that server would have had to pay almost $15 for the “privilege” of serving you.
IF YOUR SERVER DOES THEIR JOB, ON EVERYTHING THEY CAN CONTROL—WHICH DOES NOT INCLUDE THE KITCHEN FUCKING UP—AND YOU LEAVE NO TIP, YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE.
Also, if being a decent human being isn’t enough motivation for you, then remember this: If you tip less than 10 or more than 20%, you will be remembered and treated accordingly the next time you come in. If you leave no tip and you ever show your face in that restaurant again, they WILL fuck with your food, almost guaranteed.

ahsadler:

kabutopz:

So last night I came across this table with 3 girls. They said they were out celebrating. When I asked what they were celebrating, one girl replied “my new hair color I’m now blonde”. She wasn’t blonde, her hair was golden brown. Anyway, so she orders a blue cheese bacon burger and wanted to add extra cheddar cheese. When her burger came out, there was no blue cheese. So being my job, I brought it back to the kitchen and brought out a new burger with blue cheese. After about 10 mins or so, she tells me she hates the blue cheese and wants it off. Of course I take the burger back and make her a new burger for the second time. Then seeing she eats half the burger and assuming shes done since she put trash on her plate, she complains she hated the burger all together. Then asks for a sundae with sparklers and candles since they wanted to make this a big celebration. After I was done serving them, correctly doing my job and being as helpful and has nice as I can, I drop off the check. After they leave, this is what I find. I understand she was upset about her burger, but I worked my ass off for this table and did so much for them. I even got them stuff discounted on the bill. She put “NAH SON” for tip and signed it “smooche da puss” instead of her signature. I can’t believe how disrespectful some people are now a days.

OK, dipshits, listen up: In the US, servers make all of $2 an hour, and the rest is from tips. They are taxed at the expectation of a 15% tip (which accounts for the hourly wage), and in most restaurants they have to give a certain percentage (say, 2.5%) to the busser, the host, and maybe the dishwasher. They have to pay tax and tip out even if the customer leaves no tip. When you leave less than 10%, the server worked your table for free. When you leave nothing at all, the server PAID to work your table. On this bill, that server would have had to pay almost $15 for the “privilege” of serving you.

IF YOUR SERVER DOES THEIR JOB, ON EVERYTHING THEY CAN CONTROL—WHICH DOES NOT INCLUDE THE KITCHEN FUCKING UP—AND YOU LEAVE NO TIP, YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

Also, if being a decent human being isn’t enough motivation for you, then remember this: If you tip less than 10 or more than 20%, you will be remembered and treated accordingly the next time you come in. If you leave no tip and you ever show your face in that restaurant again, they WILL fuck with your food, almost guaranteed.

Aug 09

katskinx:

It scares me to think that when I’m 40

this new royal baby is going to be a teen heartthrob.

and i’m going to be like

i remember being on tumblr looking at his baby face on simba’s body.

Aug 09

best-of-funny:

finnyisintheimpala:

omysheeran:

danhowled:

that-jolly-tardis-sound:

panic-at-the-order-of-the-tardis:

logans-v-and-dimples:

mikey-way-galaxy:

mikey-way-galaxy:

isetmynarwhalsonfire:

we’re all like this weird combination of wade and sheen

imageimage

With a dash of Vicky

image

And that vacuum that eats all the mother fucking food

image

And Arwin

image

and also that dude Spencer from iCarly

image

And a pinch of Oliver Oken

image

and a lot of Eric Foreman

image

God bless this post

NOO NOO HIS NAME IS NOO NOO

X

Aug 08

avvadakedavvra:

disneyprincessdreams:

anniephantom:

why doesn’t disneyworld have a kuzcotopia

image

Because they would have to destroy the homes of the locals to make room for it

that hasnt stopped any corporations before

Aug 08

theycallmemarlon:

waynetechlegos:

xsyndorxashes:

Deadpool at Comic Con

Number one rule of having a Fandom/Nerd/DC/Marvel blog. Always, ALWAYS reblog Deadpool at Comic Cons. 

I have taken to the belief that you’re not allowed to dress up as deadpool unless you stay in character at all times.

Aug 08

saint-grench:

tyleroakley:

obesealpaca:

laufeysons:

#this looks like an election ad

I would vote for him.

I would campaign for him.

Can this please be our next president?